Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
