from now on my penis is your penis
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
