the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
