From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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