apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
