Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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