we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
