R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
