belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
