I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Randomize
