She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
