Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
