I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
