Are we in a gay sports bar?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
