just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
