i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
