My first STD was from a foam party
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
