There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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