they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
