I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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