last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
