OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
