Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
