I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
