I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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