He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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