This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize