I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
