I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
