windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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