It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
They should really pass out barf bags in church
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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