Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
