I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
