Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
