using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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