I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you inspire me to be a worse person
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
