I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
