i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize