We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
