Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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