Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
