how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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