Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
