So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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