Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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