I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
