I'm lost and stupid without you.
Apparently you make a good broom.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
