But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
this hospital has no fireball
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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