so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sext me about skeletons
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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