I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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