we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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