I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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