found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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