hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
