I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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