i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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