I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
