the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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