I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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