we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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