How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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