i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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