Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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