lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
