If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
